The Name Game

My co-workers are a bit nutty....who says Army Doctrine Writers are boring??!! They started an office pool for people to guess this baby's birthdate and time. Participants are asked to pitch in $5 for their guess and who ever is the closest gets a gift certificate for pizza (or something similar). In order to tweak their guesses, I've had numerous co-workers interrogate me over my family history of child birth (were they early, were they late, etc...). It's been pretty humerous.

When the e-mail went out for this, one of our officers suggested that for $5, the winner should also have baby naming rights! Now, the e-mails are flying about possible names. The "best" so far is: Dweezel Dorris (nice)...Double D! Help me!!

Creeping up on 100 days to go...

Anyhoo...things are just cooking along...getting fatter by the day it seems. I still have a belly-button, but I anticipate that disappearing in another week or two. Thank goodness the hubby understands my inferno-like heat and has been willing to keep the house a bit cooler for me (the dogs are appreciative also). We've been getting into the high 80's/low 90's already.

Why did no one tell me about the nasal stuffiness, non-stop sneezing, hot flashes (all day and night), leg cramps, back pain, stomach muscle pain, and shortness of breath? I feel like I've smoked 3 packs a day all my life!

Only one week to go until day 100 left to bake!!

Job Description

Thanks to one of my friends for sending this to me...it's not as if this is freaking me out even more! :-)

Job Description

Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma

JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap,
plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.

Advice welcome...

For those of you with advice to share on this whole baby-thing....use the "comments" link to add your two (or three) cents. Also, any advice on baby stuff that I definitely need/don't need is greatly appreciated also. :-)

It's a Boy!

After paying for another ultrasound (after the less-than-stellar u/s last week at UMC)...we find out it is definitely a boy! I went to a place in Tucson called Already Adorable, which is a 3d/4d ultrasound business. Such a better experience! The 3d/4d technology is really incredible.

I got the package where I get 2 ultrasounds (the other will be at the end of July when I'll be about 32 weeks). So the change should be pretty dramatic from these pictures. Of course, this baby does not like to be photographed, so the pictures didn't turn out super-great.

20-week ultrasound experience

I need to vent about my 20-week ultrasound experience I had yesterday. My ob/gyn scheduled me for my 20-week u/s up in Tucson (at a big city hosptial that will remain nameless...ahem...the initials are UMC)...which is at least an hour and half away. My ob/gyn's office told me to check in at the Imaging Desk (which according to the hosptial signs, that is where all the CT/MRI/Ultrsound scans are done). I give them my name and they can't find me in the system, they finally tap into the main appointments database and tell me that I have to go up to the 8th floor to have my u/s done.

We make it up there and it's the labor/delivery floor that has an ob/gyn office attached. The waiting room was packed with pregnant women from all walks of life (it was a bit eye-opening to me). My appointment was scheduled for 11am, so I was very well hydrated and ready to go for an 11am u/s. The white board on the wall says they are running 40 minutes behind...immediate bladder shrinkage! Needless to say, I couldn't hold it anymore when 11:25 came. How ironic that I get called in at 11:30am!

Now for the fun part, I am thinking (just like my 2 previous u/s)! Wow was I wrong! The woman doing my scan took about 5-7 minutes doing all the measurements...all the while not speaking a word or telling me what she was measuring. After she was done doing all the measurements, I asked her if she was able to tell the gender. She very tersely says that that is not her priority (which I understand) and that if she had some extra time she would look. She finished up the last minute measurements and took oh, about 2 minutes to go back and try to determine the gender. She tells us very nonchalantly, well...I couldn't tell for sure, but if I were to guess it would be a boy. Wow...thanks...so much for my idealized vision of the u/s technician happily telling us what we were expecting. One good thing is that she said she didn't see anything out of place as far as heartbeat, structure, etc...with the baby.

She gave us 4 pictures that are of horrendous quality...I think one of them is a picture of a foot and the other three are profile pictures that I can sort-of make out a head/face. I am still really irked over the whole thing since my previous u/s experience was wonderful, the u/s tech guided us through the whole thing, pointing out what she was looking at. Last night it really hit me hard since I have no idea if I'll have another u/s during the second half of this pregnancy...I really feel like I was robbed of an experience.

Greek Awards

For those of you who just aren't into the whole Greek thing, then skip this post! Last night I attended the University of Arizona's Greek Awards night. Representatives of all the sororities and fraternities on campus are there to accept awards based on various categories (i.e. highest GPA, service events, etc...).

In the past our UofA girls have not fared too well at these awards. A lot of time it's how well you word the award application, not necessarily what you did. Needless to say Chi Omega almost swept the sororities again this year. BUT, we did get awards in all the categories we applied for: 1st Place "New Member Programming Award"; and 2nd Place "Chapter Management Award".

I was extremely honored by the chapter to be nominated for "Outstanding Chapter Advisor", which I won. It's a shame that the award goes to just one person when I need to share the award with Catherine, my right-hand chickie. Thanks Cat, for being such a help this past year! Sorry, we couldn't find you a "date-able" fraternity advisor at the ceremony; there were some cuties in the 19-to-22-year-old catetgory though (um, a little young I think). Next year, the award goes to you!!

20-week U/S scheduled

My 20-week ultrasound is scheduled for Tuesday May 2 up in Tucson. Yea! Another trip to Tucson! We'll be able to find out the gender (hopefully) at this one. Yes, we're being complete spoilers and want to know the gender. It's been so difficult for us to even get to this point in a pregnancy, that knowing the gender is not something we want to be a secret. I'll definitely post pics and info from that test.

Race For the Cure

On Sunday, I participated in the Tucson 5K Race For the Cure in Reid Park. It was a great event as usual. Our "Team Kappa Alpha Theta" consisted of members of the Advisory Board, Tucson Alumnae Chapter and students from Amphi Middle School. Our Beta Delta girls also were a part of the "Greeks for the Cure" team which won an award for having the largest participation increase. Our team had the yellow shirts, the girls wore the pink shirts for the Panhell team (the girls thought our yellow shirts were cuter)!

Good news on the test...

I finally got a call today from my doctor's office with the results of the ultrascreen from St. Joe's Hospital. According to the results, I have no greater or lesser chance of having a Down's Syndrome baby than what is usual for my age (which is about a 1 in 400 chance). So good news, but it doesn't completely rule out the possibility. We'll be able to see more at the 20-week ultrasound towards the end of April.

If you scroll to the very bottom of the page, I set up a counter so you all can see where I am as far as weeks/days. Not quite halfway yet!

New car...sort of

O.k...I love my SUV (yes, I am one of those gas-guzzling-loving people)...but the gas prices have been killing me! I started researching some of the smaller cars out on the market that get a lot better gas mileage than my Trailblazer. Takeshi wasn't too happy when I started talking about a Kia Spectra5. I don't think the cool factor of a Kia was high enough for him. Then I looked at the Toyota Matrix which is a neat looking little car. Takeshi was the one who actually recommended I research the Honda Civic. So, I checked out the Civics on the Honda website and thought they were just fine.

Instead of going for new, I looked up Civics on cars.com and found a 2004 Civic EX at a dealership in Tucson. Only 30,000 miles, all the goodies (cruise control, a/c, power windows/locks, moonroof, etc...), silver color to hide the dirt.

The one thing I have to work on, is the 5-speed-thing. I never really drove a manual aside from the few times I had to drive Takeshi's Camaro in a pinch. Those few times, Takeshi would grimace (and almost shed a tear) as I pulled away griding the gears (just a little bit). This car is SO much easier to manage. I've only stalled a few times. This will be a much better car to do all those weekly trips I have to Tucson.

Max's Birthday!

March 15th was our baby's 9th birthday! Max is our German Shepherd we bought in '97 while stationed in Germany. It's hard to believe he's 9 now. Dad (Takeshi) gave him a special treat for dinner, a bratwurst (Max's favorite). Little sister (crazy) Sadie also got part of a bratwurst so she didn't feel left out. Happy birthday to Max-pup!

I can't take credit for this...

I can't take credit for these observations....thanks to Emily's husband for sending this out via e-mail. She just had a baby boy in February. Emily is one of my advisory board buddies at the U of Arizona.

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So I’ve only been a dad now for 2 short weeks, but I’ve already had many realizations in this very short time regarding fatherhood. It’s been an amazing ride so far and I know it only gets better, but here’s what I’ve learned so far…

• Eat. Sleep. Poop. Repeat. That’s the routine. Newborns don’t do anything else.
• People always ask us the same stupid question…”getting any sleep?” NO! No we’re not. None. Not a wink. Nothing at all. Even when we “sleep” we’re not sleeping because you know you have to wake up in an hour. It’s like when you’d fall asleep in class. You close your eyes, start to drool and then wake up abruptly flailing your arms and scare the shit out of yourself and the person next to you.
• The circumcision, or bris as us Hebrews call it, is an awful, awful process. The basics are this…they strap the baby down to a board, rub topical anesthetic all over “the area”, inject Lydocaine directly into his hoo-hah, say a few prayers and use a cigar cutter, yes, a cigar cutter to make the little Darth Vader helmet. And all of this madness is done in front of an audience. Yes I know it’s an ancient custom but it was tough to watch. But at least now he won’t get made fun of in gym class.
• Babies-R-Us owns my ass. I’ve been back there at least a dozen times since Logan was born to get things we “need.” The list of must-have items includes, but is not limited to:
  - Nipples, nipples and more nipples…stage 1s, slow-flows, air-frees, natural shapes, easy sucks and every other type of nipple they make. And guess what? They ALL still give him major gas.
  - Bottle warmer…yes, I spent $20 on something that warms up bottles of milk in 3 minutes. I already had something like that, it’s called a microwave! But it seems that microwaves don’t work for breast milk…at least Babies-R-Us wants us to think that. And running the bottle under tap water was too easy, so I bought a machine to do it.
  - Mirrors…for our cars so we can see the baby while driving…“yes, he’s STILL asleep dear.”
  - “Butt Paste”…yes, that’s actually what the brand is called, “Butt Paste.” Actually, I wasn’t sure what it did when I bought it but if you ever see a product called “Butt Paste” you buy it first and ask questions later.
• I’m now a supporter of teenage pregnancy. Not because I think kids should be having kids, that’s awful, but because 18 year olds are the only ones who have the energy required to be up all night, night after night. 30 year olds need sleep! Emily and I sleep maybe 3 hours a night - I’m running on adrenaline and breast milk fumes and that’s it.
  We do baby laundry twice a day, every day. I should by stock in Dreft we’re doing so many loads.
• I always swore I’d never dress my baby in cutesy outfits or newborn costumes like sailor suits or baby cowboy stuff…but he just looks so damn cute in that crap!
• Baby clothes, blankets, towels, etc. are sooooo soft! I wish they made more adult items in terry cloth, chenille or fleece. I’d make my whole wardrobe out of whatever they make receiving blankets from. And yes, I now know what a receiving blanket is.
• Do not whine to your wife about how you have a nasty, stingy paper cut just hours after she’s delivered a 7 ½ lb. baby. She’s not very sympathetic.
• Putting together baby stuff like bassinets and swings and pack-n-plays is harder than putting together a custom chopper. I’ve never actually assembled a custom motorcycle but those guys on American Chopper do it in an hour and it took me an entire afternoon (and some of the evening) to figure out where the mobile goes on the play pen. Where’s Pauly Jr. when you need him.
• Babies can’t focus on your face at all so all the smiling, faces, cooing, oohing and awing is for naught. You think their looking at you, you can swear it, but they can’t see a damn thing. I’m told they only see fuzzy blobs about a foot away and only in black and white…so it’s basically like they’re watching TV in the 50’s and you’re “The Honeymooners.”
• All newborns look like little alien babies and are rather frog-like in appearance….except your child. YOUR baby is the cutest thing you’ve ever seen and they will never be cuter…until the next day, then the next and so on.
• Regarding your baby you are very paranoid about cleanliness and sterilization - everyone has to wash their hands with pumice, they must use Purell every 5 minutes and you boil the pacifiers and bottles and such…for like the first week. Week two you’re still washing your hands but the Purell is occasional and you’re rinsing the pacifiers in tap water. I’m guessing by week 3 I’ll just wipe my hands on my shirt and then just shake the pacifier off to clean it. Their immune systems should kick in by then, right?
• Watching your wife pumping breast milk for the first time is just weird. You kind of get used to it, but it never just feels right to watch it. The first time you handle said milk, it’s weird too. And yes, it’s VERY weird if you want to taste it. Just don’t.
• Every noise, every odd movement and every time they sleep too long you check them. Are they still breathing? Yes. Are they hurt? Nope. Logic and reason tells you they’re fine. But what if that hiccup means they’re choking? Logic and reason be damned, it’s my kid.
• Newborn poop looks like spicy mustard with sesame seeds in it and smells like moldy bread.
• People without kids ask me what I can compare the first weeks too. Really, nothing. But I guess it’s kind of like staying up all night in Vegas without any of the gambling or booze or partying and the only boobs you see have babies hanging from them.
• Speaking of Vegas, I’m supposed to go on a bachelor party to Vegas next month and all the guys who are going keep asking me, “Aren’t you excited?” Three nights away from a crying baby who’s up all night long so I don’t get any sleep and I get to go to a place where I’ll be up all night and not get any sleep? Yeah, can’t wait.
• You swear you won’t be “one of those dads” who take pictures of the baby every moment of their life, but you become one anyway. I’m like an Asian tourist in Epcot. I take pictures of him every 10 minutes yet 90% of them are photos of him sleeping. Who needs hundreds of pictures of a sleeping newborn? We do.
• If one more person tells me to “get used to it” when I say I’m tired I’m going to murder them where they stand.
• After giving birth your wife gets emotional…very emotional. First she cries, then zones out for awhile and then goes to sleep mad at you…actually it sounds like the night we conceived.
• Newborns are better than alarm clocks. They require no batteries and you can hear them from anywhere in the house. We set Logan to 7am so I’m not late for work, 8pm so we know when “My Name Is Earl” is on and every other time in between. You simply can’t forget to feed them or change them, they just won’t let you. The only negative to our baby alarm clock is that every time I hit the snooze button I’m afraid I’ll damage his soft spot.
• Nothing, I mean nothing, can prepare you for the actual act of childbirth. The result is wonderful but for me the actual process was like a car wreck…it happened so fast, I couldn’t remember much of it, I was a little dazed, there was a lot of blood and screaming, I tried but couldn’t look away and now my insurance went up.
• Changing a baby boy is like being in the first few rows at Sea World…prepare to get wet. It’s like a Gallagher show, you need to wear a poncho or else pee will get all over you, the baby, the clean clothes you’ve set aside, the new diaper and even the yummy sandwich you’re eating as you change him. I got peed on three times already today.
• Never complain about the difficulties of newborns to your friends with 2 year olds, more than one child or colicky babies…you get a lot of eye rolls and/or “go F yourselfs.” Other parents don’t EVER want to hear you bitch and moan about your child, especially after only 2 weeks.
• A baby fresh out of the bathtub, all clean and cozy and warm, is just about the cutest thing you’ll ever see and makes this whole wild rollercoaster ride worth it.

We have pictures!

Deja vu...I find myself back at St. Joe's Hospital today to complete the ultrascreen from last week (see the previous post). Whew...it only took 35 minutes to get the photos they needed! From the photos, you can see that my uterus doesn't photograph well! My tilted uterus has righted itself within the past week (as was predicted by the ob tech). I got to hear the heartbeat again today which was reassuring. The gestational age is right on target also so I feel like this one just might make it! Just click on the pictures below to view the bigger versions.

Can anything go right...?

Keeping you all updated with the continuing saga of the pregnancy. On March 10th, I was scheduled to have an ultrascreen done at St. Joe's Hospital in Tucson. The ultrascreen is an ultrasound and blood test that checks for Down's Syndrome and Trisomy defects (since I'm so OLD).

So, we drive up to Tucson and finally find some place legal to park at the hospital (FYI, Joe's Crab Shack is NOT legal parking)! Anyway, so we get there, get checked in and went with the ob tech to start the u/s. The ob tech was very spirited (I mean, high strung), so at least that was a high point. She explains (prior to starting my exam), that one time it took over 3 hours to get a picture of the baby in the right position for the test. I thought.....not me!! We'll be out of here in no time!

Well, we start the u/s and of course, the baby is in THE worst position possible for the test (head down). My inverted uterus doesn't help the matter at all since the picture using the abdominal ultrasound was terribly fuzzy (you can see how inverted I am in the pic below). We tried numerous "remedies"....drinking water and walking for 10 minutes; having a full bladder; having an empty bladder; turning on one side, turing to the other side, laughing, jumping up and down, chewing sugary gum....we even left to go eat lunch and still, that darn baby didn't want to move from the comfy spot!

The ob tech even tried the vag. ultrasound wand which didn't do much for the official test, BUT did show us a great close-up of the baby....we were able to see a good heartbeat, fingers/toes, a lot of arms/legs movement and the brain. She said everything looked exactly on target.

We saw the head/face too...if any of you are familiar with the Strong Bad cartoons on-line...the baby looks like that (we laughed a lot over that). Check out www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail.html and you'll see what we mean. :-)

The OB tech was also able to get a pretty good bottom up view between the legs and she thought she saw some bait and tackle there....so who knows...it might be a boy? At 12 weeks I'm not sure of the reliability, but it was nice news. So...after almost 2 hours of being poked and prodded, we gave up...SO...next Monday I get to go back and try it again. The doctor on site said that women with inverted uteruses (or is it uteri?) usually correct themselves in between weeks 12-13. So that should make the picture look much better and hopefully the baby will move in a better position.

The hubby did have some words of consolation...he said that maybe things are hard at this point so it will be easier down the road. Wishful thinking! :-)

I guess you all need to know by now...

O.k...I've been holding out telling everyone, but since I'm almost into my second trimester, I guess it's safe to tell. We are expecting a little one September 16, 2006. I'm still not feeling completely connected to this pregnancy, but I guess that is due to my past miscarriage history. Fingers crossed that the third time will be the charm!

Welcome to my crazy, busy life!

Thanks to Road and Tara's blog for giving me the inspiration to create my own! Hopefully this blog will keep all of you updated on what is going on in my little world. More to follow!